Wednesday, September 15, 2004
Slippery Bugger
Grapple....grapple.......grapple.............
Ever notice some days you just can't get your hands around life? You could do it yesterday, and you think you could do it the day before that but all of a sudden you can't get a grip on life. I am SO there. God is doing so amazingly strange things in my life right now. How strange? Strange enough that I have no idea what any of it means. It's like God just finished working through his impressionistic period where my life only made sense if you stood back and looked at it and has now decided to paint my life as a surrealist.
Personally, I think he is trying to break me. I am kinda resistant to giving in and letting myself surrender to anything. I would rather dig my heels in, get unrealistically stubborn, and refuse to move. Which would explain alot if God has really set out to humble me. After all, I have always believed that God has some astounding ministry in mind for my life (don't think you're off that hook bucko, God has something astounding in mind for you too.) and now he simply has to wring out of me as much of my desperately pathetic self reliance as he can.
God won't use me (or you) if he has to wade through my agendas, personal demons, psychic trash, etc... first. Instead I think God is trying to clean out my mental attic so he can move his stuff in. Problem is I am a lousy roommate. I have collected all this junk (most of which I don't use or need) and now I am damned if I am gonna let it go. Actually, that isn't too far off. We're all damned if we don't let go. We see our pride, our selfish (but self justified) goals, our history, our defense mechanisms.....all God sees is us with a gun to our heads, and we whine when he tries to pull it away.
/me takes a deep breath and tries to meditate on that image....
So, I will go and get bent, and maybe broken and be better for it.
Pray for me Cyberworld
Posted by 1fuzzylogic at 10:26 AM
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Formerly the site: "Confessions of a small furry cleric."
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| I am a Gen Xer trying to restart an old Boomer church in Huntington WV. I am married to my best friend, and I have 2 trully beautiful and brilliant daughters, I play a 12 string, hand made, seagull guitar, and I have no idea what I am doing half the time, but it seems to work out. |
Vita Sheet:
Name: Rev. Rus Yoak
Age: 35
Wife: Kristie
Kids: Katie and Hannah
Dogs: Jake and Molly(RETIRED)
Hobbys: Guitar and Sport Kites
Birth: 01/31/69 send presents;-P
Favortie Book of the Moment:
Fastfood Nation
(You don't really want to know what you are eating) |
| .:Random Thoughts:. |
| When did the main thrust of the American Women's movement stop being all about redifining womanhood and become about redefining manhood? |
| Is there actually anyone on the planet who actually thinks reality tv is real? |
| The top two uses for the internet are porn and religion, scarily enough I just heard about a site that combines both. The world is gettin' scary boys and girls. |
| 58% of Christians polled believe that "Hezechiah" is a book of the Bible. |
| The mainline churches are not shrinking, they are refining. |
| I predict that the TV show Joey will jump the shark merely by airing. |
| Whis is it most folks insist on making 90% of life an either or decision, when, as far as I can tell, 90% is a both and. |
| So someone tell me, is or is not, this election about Viet Nam, cause as far as I can tell it is, or maybe it isn't, it just depends on the day. |
| Apparently most folks are shocked by the notion that history cannot be re-written to make it more PC |
| Meme of the Moment: "If George Bush is elected he will bring back the draft" = an example of a dangerous thought virus, since it has no backing in reality. In reality it is the Democrats who have pushed for a draft, and the Republicans who have voted it down. Truth is the only innoculation. |
Books you must read. 
Music you gotta listen to.
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